How can you make someone stop drinking or go to rehab?
Question by deviously_devine: How can you make someone stop drinking or go to rehab?
My ex boyfriend who i still love and care for has told me he plans to drink himself to death he has been drinking for ten years and has been to withdrawl centres and left early. He says they dont help you and here in ontario you have to go to a withdrawl centre before you can go to rehab…. anyways i went to a physic and she told me he was going to die on a blue carpit and he just got an appartment and it has a blue carpit so i am freaked out and he has been complaning latly about his stomic hurting and hasnt been sober for more then 2 days in the past 3 years someone please give me some advice or something i dont want to explane to our child why his dad has died.
Best answer:
Answer by bmac
Nothing you can do. If he doesn’t want help, you can’t force him.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
July 27th, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Rehabilitation comes from within! There is nothing you can do except to not be an enabler. Cut him lose, and worry about what to explain to your child when the child is older. If he is determined to be a lush and drink himself to death, then let him.. Sorry, but I’ve been down the road. Save yourself some hassle and walk away and never look back!
July 27th, 2010 at 5:30 pm
my husbandwont even quit smoking for me even though cancer runs in his family and i get so hurt and un attracted to him when he does.
people with an addiction are very selfish and you know they are thinking adout more than themselvs when they admit and do somethng about it for good
July 27th, 2010 at 6:16 pm
YOU CAN NOT HELP SOMEONE THAT CAN NOT HELP THEMSELF,
THINK OF YOU ,AND YOUR CHILD,AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU BOTH !!!
July 27th, 2010 at 6:44 pm
you can’t make him do anything…you can however protect your child from watching his dad destroy himself…which I highly recommend…
July 27th, 2010 at 7:13 pm
You really can’t make someone do something they don’t want to do. You could try to talk to him and explain your concerns for his health and the effect it will have on your child if he isn’t in your lives anymore. But no matter how you say it if he doesn’t want to hear it he won’t hear it. I understand what your going through, I lived with an alcoholic for 4.5 years. It didn’t matter what I said or did, he did what he wanted, so I had to kick him out. Thank goodness we didn’t have a child together that would make my situation much worse now that I’m married to someone else. I’m sorry to hear you have to go through this, I know how much it sucks. Hang in there, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
July 27th, 2010 at 7:16 pm
NO ONE and I mean NO ONE should stay with someone who drinks like you say this guy drinks.
There are PLENTY of us girls who did and we got plenty of stories to tell you about just what you have to look forward to if you DO stay.
I ended up being a drunk myself,trying to make my emotional pain go away.
The emotional pain of the embarrassment for all of the nasty things my ex-husband would call me in public when he was drunk.
The emotional pain of the verbal abuse I got at home.
The physical abuse I got when my behavior was not what “HE” thought it should be.
We lived in one house that had a pool that I could not use as he just knew I was displaying myself to my neighbors when all I was doing was sitting in the sun by the pool.
My children and I could not have friends over because “HE” would make an &%$(#% out of himself and embarrass us.
It was when I started standing up for myself and my children that this man no longer wanted us and moved out,cut off our utilities,left us with no groceries,cut off our phone and the rent was due and of course I had not job because he wanted me to stay home with the kids.
A drunk wants you around as long as you give them what they want. As long as you will bail them out of jail,make a living for them,go after their alcohol/cigarettes etc they need you. Stand up for yourself and quit being their “enabler” and they drop you like a hot potato.
Let this guy go and get FAR away from him because until he wants to better himself NOTHING and I mean NOTHING is going to change until he is ready and willing to better himself. . . until then he will ALWAYS have excuses as to why he can’t get sober and will always want to take the easier way out of life.
Get yourself into Ala-non and they will help you understand that you are not the problem and will teach you how to let go of this guy.
P.S. I have been sober through the help of AA since I left my ex-husband and I am happier than I ever thought possible. Not always easy and sometimes scary but I know that I have lived the worst part of my life and that my life will NEVER be that bad again. . no matter what!